Random Movie RANT: The Lorax

This movie is the epitome of everything that is evil in this world. I've never seen any form of media take everything I hate in cliched plots and combine into this garbage heap only to label this as "The Lorax." This is my all-time least favorite film.

Let's start out with the story, if you could call it that. So there's this kid who's played by Zac Efron who falls in love with a girl played by Taylor Swift. If that isn't a cliched recipe for disaster I don't know what is. Basically, the girl demonstrates another cliche by wanting to see a real tree and will marry anyone who can present her with one. You see, they live in a town full of plastic and there are no living organisms. So, the kid, called Ted, goes on a cliched quest to find a tree because he is too infatuated. But the plot is more "complex" as there's this evil organization who made the town that wants there to be no living things. Why? Because they want money. That's right, they pollute the water to sell clean water and anything a bad guy would do. There's your cliched antagonists. Do you notice how many cliches are in that plot? For being a movie based on a surprisingly original book, they sure mix in a lot of Hollywood cliches.

Well, he comes across the Onceler who gives his cliched antagonistic backstory. So he decided to cut down trees because he wanted money. I actually like his character because he has a good motive since he's an underdog, but noooo. We've gotta have Ted, that generic protagonist who is do-goody by chance. I don't have a huge problem with the Onceler's plot because this was in the book as well and the Onceler wasn't fleshed out as well as in the movie. Probably the only thing I'll give to the movie's credit. Of course I do enjoy the book as well because the Onceler wasn't a person, he was a symbol for humanity's greed. But I'm fine; this isn't the worst problem.

The worst is probably the Lorax. I...don't know. They made him comic relief. He was another symbol in the book: he represented the force against harm against the environment. This guy's a joke in the movie. Like so many jokes are made of him that his preaching near the end of the Onceler's career is hard to take in. He should've been someone who represented the dying force of environmental conservation movement in this dystopic universe, but here he's just...derpy. He's also a bit immoral when trying to get rid of the Onceler so I can't root for this guy. I mean you might say that this is a modern statement on how in-your-face environmental organizations have become but really? After that intro? Just nothing?

So anyways, the governing people want to get rid of Ted's knowledge of trees, but the Onceler gives him a seed and he gives a speech to plant the seed in the center of town. The baddies are gone, everyone loves him, Taylor Swift loves him, and the Lorax returns. Yay. There's the end to that cliched plot.

So what do I hate about this story. I know this has been done to death but it revolves around the love story. In the book, this kid is anonymous and curious. By the end he has a mission. But here he's this guy who likes this girl and that's that. The Onceler even makes fun of this and mocks the fact that Ted doesn't actually care for trees until the end. The point of "The Lorax" is to preach against environmental damage. Why do we need a love story? Just have Ted explore around with his Grandma or something until he comes across the curious building. But nooo, Taylor Swift.

Secondly, why have this Capitalistic government? The whole point of "The Lorax" is the emphasize that this situation came to be with the mistakes of humanity. There is a sense of disapproval, but there's also hope in this message as well. This government is fully aware of living organisms but chooses to shun it just to make money. Humans aren't this stupid. The kids watching this aren't this stupid. You don't need an antagonist to epitomize human mistakes. All you need is to have this abstract idea of human mistakes. The government is evil just because it's evil.

Moving on, the animation is nice. But it can't make up for the train-wreck of a story. The songs suck pretty badly, especially the freaking Onceler song. I hate that song. The jokes are very pathetic and are only entertaining for little kids who think stuff like "disco" and a fat bear are funny. The only character I legitimately enjoyed was the Onceler and that was ruined by the song.

The point is that this movie is an iconoclast. It barely has the original message Dr. Suess wanted to have portrayed. Instead we have this obvious Hollywood movie that wants to please only kids with its action and vibrant colors and stupid jokes.

You might say that it's not bad to have a movie only pleasing to kids. Well at least with other bad movies, they didn't portray bad messages with its simplistic ideology. There's no such thing as true good or true evil that this movie tries to exemplify with Ted and the government. Good or evil is completely subjective and everyone shouldn't be able to agree with what's good or bad. Kids movies shouldn't be this dumb. Yes, they are intended for kids but think about most Pixar movies. Movies like "Toy Story 3" and "Up" are engaging for people like me and my parents. They also appeal to kids with its humor that can also garner a few chuckles from adults who understand subtle references. Writing like that is smart and appeals to audiences of all ages. If you want more examples, take "The Powerpuff Girls." For something that's for kids, it has adult themes and complex episodes around hypothetical events. Movies like "The Lorax" make parents want to bust their brain out with its little charm and iconoclastic air. Because of this, I hope you see what I mean when I say this is the worst movie of all time.

Final Rating: 2/10

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